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Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Love Hurts and You Don't Know Why: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why

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She has written for the Guardian, the Independent, the New Statesman, Red Magazine and Grazia among others. They saw themselves as sacrificial lambs, and their mothers as passive, weak, and unwilling to take a stand against the abuser on their children's behalf. Occasionally surrendering or backing down is part of the compromise necessary in any working relationship. We, both women and men, need to be informed, to admit there is a problem, and work together to change it. So he banged a bunch of women using his influence and power position, and he did that to “deal with his longings for comfort”?

Once you know that there are hundreds of thousands of people out there despising women to the point that many of them believe we should all be exterminated, you can never un-know it. To warn women to take precautions to protect themselves and, implicitly or explicitly, blame those victims who do not. Like many misogynists, Jeff saw affection and caressing as time-consuming and unnecessary once he’d “won” his woman. No missing or damaged pages, no creases or tears, no underlining or highlighting of text, and no writing in the margins.Almost every week for the past eight years, I have spoken to young people in schools across the UK about sexism. Sexhaolics use sex either to escape life tensions, for example before going to work or to release tension coming back from work, or as a tool for control, as the guy from the quote above. Its symptoms are aggressive – mental and physical abuse characterised by shouting, screaming, extreme jealousy and possessiveness, and insistence on financial and organisational authority.

She details the way much of MRA/PUA/Incel ideology has moved into the mainstream, using tactics familiar from watching the Alt-Right. Borrowed from cult film The Matrix, this refers to the scene in which the protagonist, Neo, is offered a choice between taking a blue pill, which will enable him to continue seeing the world around him the way he always has, or a red pill, which will suddenly shift his perspective, enabling him to see the ‘Matrix’ and, in so doing, realise that nothing in his world is as he had thought.Significantly, that a predisposition towards violence is a psychological trait usually linked with a lack of empathy and this is developed in children's early years (and not necessarily through exposure to misogynistic ideas but more profoundly neglect, violence, bullying etc. It’s also possible the wife of an abusive man seeks refuge in the children, or even ask for their support. He couldn’t stand to spend time with her family because they were such “uncultured, ignorant people. To begin with, Forward says that misogynist’s abuse is a covert up for his tremendous anxiety about women.

What’s really at stake is the hater's picture of actual people who've hurt them, based not on the people but on the hurt. Because allowing the manosphere to remain shrouded in shadows lends a different kind of legitimacy – that of the scrappy, underdog outsider. Once she believes his version of the relationship—that he is "good" and she is "bad," that he is "right" and she is "wrong," that her deficiencies are the cause of his blow-ups, and that he is acting this way only because he is trying to help her become a better person—she has stepped into a dangerous twilight zone of distorted perceptions. Her self-confidence and self-esteem can be so damaged as to bring about significant changes in the way she feels about herself and how she relates to the rest of the world.Such tactics are predicated on the idea that women are just Pavlovian reflex machines, without agency or choice. It can help them uncover -and get rid- of some of the dormant and childhood issues that predispose them to dislike and distrust women.

Like millions of other people on online platforms, his account appeared dormant as he just watched, listened and absorbed. She suspends her own good judgement, joins him in his persecution of her, and finds explanations to justify his behavior. That doesn't mean fighting misogyny is not important but it does mean we should try to understand the causes of violence towards women more broadly and using knowledge from other disciplines instead of just cultural theory. This was the case for Susan Forward herself actually, who realized she was in an abusive relationship with a misogynist while she cured women in a similar situation. The misogynist’s underlying suspiciousness seems to come from a fear that women are “only out for what they can get.I would be surprised if the people who were beating and killing their girlfriends and wives were not also violent towards other men and children and that violence towards women did not occur in isolation.

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